Feeding Time
By Pattee Brown | Photography by Bill Millios
As a self-proclaimed recovering restaurateur I decided it wasn’t okay to have restaurants
pay the Gorilla to give them glowing reviews. I think that’s crap, actually. It insults the customer/reader and doesn’t do any good for the restaurateurs who truly want to improve their restaurants.
So, I devised the SECRET GORILLA project. I sent four people to two, randomly selected restaurants in Frederick County, armed with specific review criteria and a score card.
THE CRITERIA
Categories
Reservations, host greeting, server competence, house atmospherics, food taste, overall cleanliness and rest room eperience.
The Rating System
1.0 Banana
Being a GAWD-AWFUL experience, where you fear botulism-poisoning and feel the need to run screaming into the night.
2.0 Bananas
Being an ICKY experience, where you think prison inmates have a better dining experience than the unlucky customers of this place.
3.0 Bananas
Being “MEH,” where you didn’t think the experience sucked, but you didn’t think it was noteworthy, either. Middle of the road at best.
4.0 Bananas
Being PRETTY GOOD, where you genuinely enjoyed the experience and would love to come back with friends and family.
5.0 Bananas
Being an “UN-FREAKIN-BELIEVABLE” experience, which drives you to dine nightly at the place, consider taking up residence with the chef and worry that you might be “de-friended” on Facebook for possible fan page stalker tendencies.
Here’s what happened…
Mick’s New American Bistro
at 207 West Patrick Street in Downtown Frederick
The score that Mick’s received was a 3.2 Bananas – “MEH”. 3.20
I have to admit that Mick’s review wasn’t very glowing. There were many more negative comments than positive ones. If I owned Mick’s, my first order of business after reading this feedback would be to teach my staff the importance of attentive, professional, customer service. That’s the dining experience variable that the whole floor staff can contribute to. Apparently, great food and inferior service equals “Meh!” Here are some of the pros and cons that were mentioned..
PRO: “The person who answered the phone was friendly.”
CON: “Though friendly, the person who answered the phone sounded slightly annoyed.”
PRO: “Menus were in good condition and house cleanliness was adequate.”
CON: “About thirty minutes into our meal a screaming, unsupervised child was running through the dining room doing whatever she wanted. Free Range Child at a restaurant—not cool!”
PRO: “The Women’s room didn’t smell bad and didn’t appear dirty.”
CON: “The woman’s room is too small for two stalls—big breasted women should avoid the second stall to the left.”
PRO: “Had the Crab Croquettes. They were excellent.”
CON: “The Crab Croquettes were memora- bly awful, icky. Nothing was visually appealing about them. They put me off actuallythe ham gave off a flavor I could only describe as dirty little feet.”
PRO: “The food at Mick’s is great. Cooked fresh and made to order”; “I’d give the restaurant a 5.0.”
CON: “Forgettable—no “wow” factor and honestly I don’t care to go back there again.”
Morgan’s American Grill
11717 Old National Pike in New Market
The score received by Morgan’s was a 4.05 Bananas – Pretty Good! 4.05
While reading through Morgan’s reviews, it was clear that the business has a top notch staff and knows how to please their patrons. Most of the comments from our Secret Gorillas were positive about both the food and the general experience there. They all seemed to agree that Morgan’s was a good place to eat and one they’d recommend to their friends and family. “Pretty good” job to the Morgan’s team! Here are some of the pros and cons that were mentioned:
PRO: “Our server did a great job. Sara was very professional and courteous. When she didn’t know something about the menu, she went directly to the chef for the answers.”
CON: “The bartender was crabby and un- friendly.”
PRO: “The décor was upscale, clean and inviting. Two fireplaces added to the rooms ambiance.”
CON: “Voices carried, and it was loud in the dining room. It was like a loud diner.”
PRO: “The Chicken Chesapeake was well presented and moist, with just the right amount of smoky flavor. The Crab Imperial was fresh; its cheese was perfectly melted and the portion sizes were very generous.”
CON: “Nothing unique about the menu. No great artistry in the food or presentation.”
PRO: “My overall rating of this restaurant was bordering on “Un-freakin-believable,” given the location, the price and the selection.”
CON: “The menu doesn’t feature any locally grown items—and nothing ‘organic’ is used. When I inquired, I was told, ‘we’re not that kind of place.’”
6 Comments
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I think the October issue of Frederick Gorilla will have a much improved Secret Gorilla restaurant review for our readers. I am excited with some of the changes we have made to the rating system and the way we are presenting the secret gorilla comments. I think it will be much more clear!
Don’t forget the criteria every secret gorilla uses to do their reviews is here on the site… take a look at exactly what they are looking for when they visit the restaurant assigned to them!
I dined at Mick’s a few months ago. Whenever eating healthy, I’ll ask for steamed veggies. Their menu had green beans in a thick cheesy sauce (if I remember correctly) so I asked if I could just have them plain. The waitress, in a snobby and rude manner, said, “We’re not THAT kind of place” while using her fingers to air-quote the word THAT. In the age of healthy eating and cooking, what restaurant doesn’t try to accommodate a guest? I’ll never return there. Oh, and the rest of the food: Not memorable.
Well I think for many who did believe it was 100% memorable, it will no longer be!
Unfortunately, the driving and culinary force is no longer there???
What happened to James???? There is so many rumors on the street that he was forced out and left holding the bag $$$$
I am sure many will now flock after reading this post, but
To James – if you see this, we miss you and your culinary expertise and creativity. The restaurant is definitely now not memorable.
Frederick has lost a great Chef and a Chef who supported the locals!
I hear you have landed in a great position with one of the world’s greatest “real” culinary chefs.
Keep the faith you will continue to go far in all that you do! We will just miss you here back in Frederick.
Hey everyone… I want to remind you that I don’t usually approve comments when your name isn’t identifying you somehow. The Frederick Gorilla doesn’t sanction anonymous posting. It feels inauthentic. I encourage you to create a name that allows people to know who you are. At least in the general sense. Take pride in what you have to say… or don’t say it. Dig me?
I have had completely different experiences at Mick’s: an intriguing selection of menu items featuring some exotic ingredients, friendly servers, and an amazingly creative bartender (she came up with her own concoction for me that included – I think – elder flower essence).
In addition, giving a restaurant a bad mark because of a “screaming, unsupervised child”? Not within the restaurant’s control, and lame for a review to gripe about it.
The review was quite cursory and random. Did you eat anything other than the crab croquettes? Did you drink anything? Have dessert? What else on the menu was tempting? I look forward to more professionally written reviews from your site in the future.
I should point out that I don’t have any connection to Mick’s other than being one of their happy, returning customers. All best.
Julilo,
Thanks for writing in and sharing your experiences at Micks. I think its great you have had such positive experiences there.
I do want to clarify a few things for you, since you commented.
1. These reviews are written by people in the community, not by employees of the Gorilla. As a matter of fact, people volunteer to go to the restaurant that is being reviewed, they are not paid to do the reviews nor are their meals paid by Gorilla.
2. These review are by no means random or cursory. Each reviewer is given the same exact criteria to follow and that criteria is based on some general principles of dining. If you look at the article there is area that identifies the criteria outline.
3. The issue about the screaming child was actually mentioned in at least 1/2 of the reviews that were turned in. The child is (was) apparently the chefs young daughter and therefore very much in the restaurants control.
4. Each reviewer orders whatever they want to eat like it was a regular dining experience. I mentioned the Crab Croquettes twice because there were two VERY different opinions… one loved them one hated them. It seemed only fair therefore to share both responses. Also, if you notice, the review states most people had little problems with the food and most problems with front of house issues.
Now, to further clarify, the purpose of these reviews is to help restauranteurs hear from their customers what they really think of the dining experience. Instead of simply leaving and never returning without explanation, these reviews are allow the restaurant owner or manager identify possible issues that can be addressed.
I recently spoke with the NEW manager at Micks and she inquired about our policy of redemption. The Gorillas policy is to revisit a location upon request from the management who feels they have addressed the issues that were mentioned by the reviewers and are therefore given a chance to improve the experience. it is my pleasure to put a note in the next issue if in fact that is the case.
So, while I love that you took the time to write your comments and I am even further excited to hear your positive experiences at Micks, I do want to point out that I am not someone who takes these reviews lightly. I owned a restaurant for many years and understand all too well how critical it is to really HEAR from my customers.
Feeding Time offers that opportunity to restauranteurs.
Look out in the December issue for my follow-up with Micks since they did ask for redemption.